A Simple Way To Solve Your Problems

Pretend they’re someone else’s.

People give better advice than they follow themselves; those who are given their own situations (with the names concealed) often give different – and better – advice than what they have actually decided to do in that same situation in the past. This is also true for ongoing situations in which their actions are inconsistent with their own advice. Why does this happen?

This is referred to as Solomon's Paradox, which according to Forbes is “a psychological concept that sheds light on a fascinating dimension of human behavior—our inclination to offer advice to others regarding their social challenges while struggling to apply the same wisdom to our own lives. It underscores the disparity between our capacity for objective reasoning in external matters and the subjective struggles within personal dilemmas.” (Forbes)

When we’re solving someone else’s problems, we do so without regard to their fears and insecurities (i.e., the real reason they’re not taking action is because they don’t feel like they’re good enough, are afraid for some reason, etc. – not because they can’t figure out an optimal solution). So it’s really not a question of knowing how to do these things, but why we don’t do it for some reason; it is not a knowledge gap problem. Most people know what they should do, and just don't do it.

Once you've created a plan to solve the problem as though it were someone else involved in your situation, you then need to take action. If you can hold yourself accountable here, you can do anything. You already have all of the context of your life and situation, giving you a huge advantage over other people trying to give you advice.

Here's how to solve your problems:

1. Distance yourself from them by simply pretending they’re someone else’s
2. Formulate a plan
3. Follow your own advice

"With age comes wisdom" – Oscar Wilde

"With distance from your problems comes wisdom" – Me